(no subject)

[sarren]

I've recently been resisting the temptation to go looking for 'Lost' fic, seeing as how I hates the spoilers, and any fic not actually a single page PWP is bound to be chockers with them. Well, for a moment this evening I wavered. I fell. I googled Sawyer/Sayid, clicked on the first link and then the first story. I read four lines. And was forcibly reminded of why I generally only read fics from rec pages. I had an idea that I would post the first few lines of the fic here to illustrate the point, and went back to the page and thought I better read a few more lines, and then had to resist the urge to stab my own eyes out. Oh, what the hell.

“Where are they Sawyer?” Jack yelled in the smirking mans face as he stood tall and proud before him. “Where are the fucking meds?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” The blonde man chuckled…running his tongue along the bottom of his lip as he continued the playful game.

“Tell me where they are” Jack screamed even louder as he grabbed Sawyer by the front of his shirt and jerked him forward…only to push him back as Sawyer placed both hands on the side of his head and kissed him. “What the fuck are you doing?” he spat…wiping at his mouth in order to remove the taste of him.

“You want the meds Jack…you need to do something for me” Sawyer teased…licking his lips once again…enjoying the taste that was his greatest foe and biggest lust object.

“Wh…what do you want me to do?” Jack in incredibly as he watched the man he hated more then anyone on the island trail a hand down a lean and taunt stomach. His eyes nearly popped out of his head as that same hand began to unbutton the top button of his jeans…before working the glittering golden zipper all the way down. His mouth became baron and dry as a huge and proud cock was removed from the confines of those jeans. “Fuck you…” Jack spit out…trying to sound disgusted and yet unable to withdraw his eyes from the wavering pole before him.



But if anyone does happen to know of any good fic that doesn't contain huge spoilery stuff...

Yeah, didn't think so.

Comments

[vegetariansushi.livejournal.com]

Good Lost fic, tragically, is hard to find.

That said, I have a few that were good. What episode are you guys up to? I'll make sure that I'm not sending anything too spoilery your way.

[sarren.livejournal.com]

Sayid just got knocked on the head while attemptiing to triangulate the signal. I'm assuming hoping it's not Sawyer as presumably he had to be setting off the other flare.

*sighs* Yes, we are incredibly behind and backward in all ways.

*frowns* I may need to go make a Lost icon. Have any piccie sites bookmarked? because I'm lazy

[vegetariansushi.livejournal.com]

I actually have all the episodes screencapped, if you're after caps. aralinde has posted them all in galleries ... oh. Hm. The galleries seem to be down at the moment, the worthless bitch.

If you're after certain shots, lemme know and I'll fish them out; if you want lots of caps, they're all posted over in crumblingwalls, linked from the sticky at the top of the journal.

Everyone needs Lost icons.

(Also, all aired eps of Lost are in the bigass parcel that's all ready to be mailed. just FYI. So you can catch up to us, if you want.)

[sarren.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Any good shots of Jack/Sawyer/Kate looking threesomey by any chance?

Yes, i know, but it's weeks later and my...interests...have shifted.

[vegetariansushi.livejournal.com]

I'll look around - I'm sure that there have to be some somewhere.

[sarren.livejournal.com]

*waits*

*looks at watch*

*remembers I don't wear a watch*

[vegetariansushi.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry - I've just gone through the most likely episodes and found nothing. I have lots of Kate and Jack, lots of Kate and Sawyer, and even a few of Jack and Sawyer, but nothing with all three of them. I'll keep an eye out, though, and see if I can find you anything. Sorry!

[sarren.livejournal.com]

Um, a good one of Kate/Sawyer and one of Jack/Sawyer would be good. Ta. Not that keen on Jack, he's a dick, but he has good chemistry with the people I do like *g*

[vegetariansushi.livejournal.com]

Check check. Will go fish some up.

[sarren.livejournal.com]

I love you?

[vegetariansushi.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon. Sorry that I'm slow tonight - it's been a bad few. <3

[vegetariansushi.livejournal.com]

Also, I've just thought -- what have you seen up to? Because the caps that I was looking at are mostly from later episodes, and I don't want to accidentally spoil you.

[sarren.livejournal.com]

The sexy Kate and Sawyer swimming followed by the discovery of the suitcase and kate's mysterious yet very disappointing and plebein past.

[vegetariansushi.livejournal.com]

Hee! That was a brilliant answer. Okay, though, I can work with that. I'll not put out anything spoilerish past that point.

[thisisbone.livejournal.com]

My hands-down favorite Lost fic is shrift's Making Nice (http://www.livejournal.com/users/shrift/81653.html).

Sawyer/Sayid, NC-17 and beautifully in character.

While it does have a few spoilers, I don't see anything that would make you go "Oh no! I didn't want to know that!" and it's sooooo well written, the characterization is dead-on, the dialogue sharp and realistic -- it's the only Lost story I've read more than once (I've read it many, many times...)

[sarren.livejournal.com]

OMG that's teh HAWT!!

*reverts to English* Thanks for the rec, it's great. Off to fangirl the author. oh, look it's Shrift, she'll think I'm stalking her.

[ascetic-hedony.livejournal.com]

His mouth became Baron???
*ROFL*

[sarren.livejournal.com]

Pretty impressive, huh?

My personal favourite is 'glittering golden zipper', cos you know he was on his way to a Pride parade.

[maharetr.livejournal.com]

Oh, god. I've been wanting to pimp this (http://www.godawful.net/) for ages. In the same way military propaganda people tell us that the soldier heroically sacificed herself for the greater good, I tell you that these martyrs went above and beyond the call of duty to bring us some insanely funny reviews of the Worst. Fic. Ever.

[sarren.livejournal.com]

Oh thank you, thank you!

While I'm not brave enough to attempt the actual fics, some of the synopyses gave me a good laugh.

This is my favourite so far.

"Judy" is living on Vulcan, eight months pregnant with twins and happily married to Spock (gag) when three humans burst into her home and try to deprogram her and abort the babies.  They don't like Vulcans, get it?  No, me neither.  This story has the hallmarks of nearly every godawful Trek fic: the tense changes constantly, often in mid sentence, and the heroine is a Mary Sue (named after the author for god's sake!).   As an added bonus the deprogramming  scenes are blatantly plagiarized from A Clockwork Orange.  It's worth noting that the author has written well over 60 stories.  And she stars in all of them.

[chaosmanor.livejournal.com]

I tried an X-files/Buffy crossover, chosen on the grounds it was the only link I could find that worked. Not Good.

And I must admit I scanned the Star Trek listings just in case a completely regrettable fic I wrote a long time ago had made it there. It hadn't.

[sarren.livejournal.com]

completely regrettable fic

*is intrigued*