Customers Suck
Aug. 30th, 2005 08:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sarrenSo this working overtime gig is ongoing for a few weeks while we have 50 billion specials and not enough staff to cover the weekday lunch rush. This means my assistant and I are getting to work together instead of switching on and off shifts. Which is the only thing we like about this situation. (besides the money)
Tuesday
Cashier Customer says her order was stuffed up on the weekend and they rang up and were told they'd get a replacement.
*me and my Assistant both go out front*
Me What's the problem?
Customer We bought lots of stuff, omg and it was all either crap or wrong eleventyone111!!! (a bit of paraphrasing here)
Me Which day did you call?
Customer *looks blank*
Me I worked Saturday and she worked Sunday. Who did you talk to?
Customer Um, it was Friday.
Assistant I worked Friday night. I didn't even answer the phone.
Customer My husband definitely called!
Me Not this store.
Customer It was this store!
Me Maam, firstly, if you had called this store we would have recorded it in our Complaints Book. We are very conscientious in making sure only a high standard of product leaves our store. Mistakes do get made occasionally and when that happens we always make sure that it is recorded properly. Secondly, if it was only on Friday, we would have remembered your call. It must have been a different store.
Customer I'll just call my husband to make sure. *speaks on mobile for a minute* It was definitely this store.
Me Maam, it was NOT this store.
Customer We still have the boxes at home!!!
Me Fine. Bring back the boxes and we will replace your order.
*customer leaves huffily*
Assistant You were way nicer to her than I would have been! I HATE when people lie to us.
Me I'm making an extra effort to be polite to people since one of the cashiers pointed out last week that sometimes I can be 'a little rude', apparently.
Assistant I wouldn't have replaced their order AT ALL. They're going to go buy all that stuff somewhere else just so they can get free food off us. I hate being lied to!
Me I figure either they're telling the truth and they'll be pissed off and bring the boxes back or, AND THIS IS TOTALLY MORE LIKELY, they are scamming us and will go somewhere else where it's easier. And also, if they do go to the trouble of buying all that stuff just so they can bring us the wrappers, they can have the fucking food.
Saturday morning
Cashier *looks amazed* Customer says they bought rolls here yesterday and got food poisoning and want their order replaced.
Me *boggles* *goes to drive thru window* What's the problem?
Customer *holds out receipt* I bought these rolls yesterday and my husband and I have been on the toilet all night with food poisoning!
Me Wasn't this store.
Customer Yes, see the date on the receipt! I bought them here yesterday! My husband and I have been on the toilet all night with food poisoning! He's still there!
Me I'm sorry to hear that, but this receipt is not from this store.
Customer It's a [company] receipt!
Me Yes maam, I can see that, however my printer does not issue those receipts.
Customer I got them here! It's your receipt.
Me Maam, my printer is physically unable to print that type of receipt. This is from an older model machine. You could try [store two suburbs away].
Customer My husband says it was this store!
Me *gesturing expansively* Maam My printer is PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE of printing this receipt. Ring the other store andsee if you can scam them see if they have the old machines. Also, btw, I'm sure you won't feel like eating [company] food at all for a while but when you do, come to our store, our food is always fabulous!
Me *goes and rings area manager to warn about the scam artist going around*
Saturday night
*phone rings*
Me How can I help you.
Customer *politely* We just came through your drive thru and a small chips is missing from our order.
Me Please hold. *goes to question cashier, who does best stunned mullet impersonation*
Me *apologetic* I am so sorry about that. Next time you come by we will replace you a large chips.
Customer Oh, it was only a small chips.
Me We are sorry this happened and are happy to replace you a large chips.
Customer *surprised* Wow, thanks!
Tuesday
Cashier Customer says her order was stuffed up on the weekend and they rang up and were told they'd get a replacement.
*me and my Assistant both go out front*
Me What's the problem?
Customer We bought lots of stuff, omg and it was all either crap or wrong eleventyone111!!! (a bit of paraphrasing here)
Me Which day did you call?
Customer *looks blank*
Me I worked Saturday and she worked Sunday. Who did you talk to?
Customer Um, it was Friday.
Assistant I worked Friday night. I didn't even answer the phone.
Customer My husband definitely called!
Me Not this store.
Customer It was this store!
Me Maam, firstly, if you had called this store we would have recorded it in our Complaints Book. We are very conscientious in making sure only a high standard of product leaves our store. Mistakes do get made occasionally and when that happens we always make sure that it is recorded properly. Secondly, if it was only on Friday, we would have remembered your call. It must have been a different store.
Customer I'll just call my husband to make sure. *speaks on mobile for a minute* It was definitely this store.
Me Maam, it was NOT this store.
Customer We still have the boxes at home!!!
Me Fine. Bring back the boxes and we will replace your order.
*customer leaves huffily*
Assistant You were way nicer to her than I would have been! I HATE when people lie to us.
Me I'm making an extra effort to be polite to people since one of the cashiers pointed out last week that sometimes I can be 'a little rude', apparently.
Assistant I wouldn't have replaced their order AT ALL. They're going to go buy all that stuff somewhere else just so they can get free food off us. I hate being lied to!
Me I figure either they're telling the truth and they'll be pissed off and bring the boxes back or, AND THIS IS TOTALLY MORE LIKELY, they are scamming us and will go somewhere else where it's easier. And also, if they do go to the trouble of buying all that stuff just so they can bring us the wrappers, they can have the fucking food.
Saturday morning
Cashier *looks amazed* Customer says they bought rolls here yesterday and got food poisoning and want their order replaced.
Me *boggles* *goes to drive thru window* What's the problem?
Customer *holds out receipt* I bought these rolls yesterday and my husband and I have been on the toilet all night with food poisoning!
Me Wasn't this store.
Customer Yes, see the date on the receipt! I bought them here yesterday! My husband and I have been on the toilet all night with food poisoning! He's still there!
Me I'm sorry to hear that, but this receipt is not from this store.
Customer It's a [company] receipt!
Me Yes maam, I can see that, however my printer does not issue those receipts.
Customer I got them here! It's your receipt.
Me Maam, my printer is physically unable to print that type of receipt. This is from an older model machine. You could try [store two suburbs away].
Customer My husband says it was this store!
Me *gesturing expansively* Maam My printer is PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE of printing this receipt. Ring the other store and
Me *goes and rings area manager to warn about the scam artist going around*
Saturday night
*phone rings*
Me How can I help you.
Customer *politely* We just came through your drive thru and a small chips is missing from our order.
Me Please hold. *goes to question cashier, who does best stunned mullet impersonation*
Me *apologetic* I am so sorry about that. Next time you come by we will replace you a large chips.
Customer Oh, it was only a small chips.
Me We are sorry this happened and are happy to replace you a large chips.
Customer *surprised* Wow, thanks!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-30 05:37 pm (UTC)Bummer about the overtime, I hope you get some more nice customers like the last one.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-30 05:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-30 09:24 pm (UTC)You're a saint. Of course, after customers, a four-year-old looks pretty sane, huh. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-30 11:56 pm (UTC)Hope it gets a little better for you. I completely sympathise.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-31 12:09 am (UTC)We're planning a programme of successive poisoning here to reduce the stupidity quotient. It's the only merciful thing to do.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-31 01:40 am (UTC)Poisoning would surely count as a humanitarian effort right? Something like removing the crap from the gene pool.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-31 05:25 am (UTC)"You, scammer, outta the pool NOW!" [grin]
Also, damn sucky customers. :( Commiserations!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-01 06:02 am (UTC)But hoorah with shiny brass knobs on for the one nice customer.